finally I won!

hero worship is a dangerous thing. By that, I mean putting anyone here on this earth in a place of higher importance than yourself. Celebrities, political leaders, religious leaders, business icons... etc.... they are all human. I have see it at conventions for network marketing companies - someone has made a financial success of themselves and suddenly they are surrounded with admirers that think so highly of them and want to take photos with them and put them on this weird pedestal of creating an idol of that individual. Celebrities that have been in a few successful movies are suddenly worshipped for their ability to act and become our role models? Religious leaders are held on a pedestal and expected to be perfect and flawless? Business leaders become experts on everything? I remember talking with someone at one of these business conventions that many had placed on this crazy pedestal and she gave me some great advice. I was what was called a "unit Leader" in a company, Creative Memories and was attending a National Convention where all those amazing leaders are recognized on stage and guest speakers and performers come and there is all this great hype to get you excited to drive forward in your business. During a lunch break at one of these conventions I challenged myself to find a table with someone I respected or looked like they were a success and join their table. So I found this woman, Vickie Morgan, she was one of those women that was at the very forefront of the company's growth. She was making more money in a month than I did in a year combined with my husband. She was someone I wanted to pick her brain and get all the secrets from. I learned one amazing secret - she was a human being just like me. I was so nervous to talk to her and stumbled over my questions to her. she sensed my weird nervousness and told me that she was no different than me, just older and had been working hard at it longer than me. and she cautioned me about idolizing anyone. she said" when you put someone else on a pedestal, you are putting yourself below them." That has always stayed with me. I had an experience with a Bishop in my church back when I was 21 yrs old that I felt made a wrong decision that directly affected me. I was so thrown by what I beleived to be his bad call that I let it affect my belief that God wanted him as a bishop for that ward. It effected me so greatly at the time that I considered leaving the church I knew to be true. Later I came to the realization that although called of God - these men of God are also just men doing their best and my job was to handle my grievances better than I did then. To put them on a pedestal of someone incapable of mistakes is to allow yourself to be thrown completely for a loop when something isn't as you think it should be. I have often admired experts - especially female leaders: Oprah Winfrey, Tosca Reno, Suzie Orman and Jillian Micheals. I admire their drive, leadership, business sense, expertise in their fields, etc... and for a while I made a mistake of holding them as role models. BUT ALL of these women are missing something ciritcal that I have - a family with a devoted husband and children. so... are these the women I want as my idols in life? no.... I can respect them for the work they do. but to put them on a pedestal above me is to believe that I am lower than any of them. we are equals. although I am not on TV or in books (yet), I have had a different life I have chosen. That also does not make me better. just different. What about your neighbor with the perfect family? You have no idea what they struggle with. To hold that other mom up on a pedestal is to say that she is better than you. She isn't. I admire a certain blogger/friend of mine that has this amazing ability to create beautiful art, crafts, and delicious dinners. She has a great talent at home decor, she always dresses amazing and her make-up is always perfect. She and I are different. while she spends time on those things, I spend time on other areas of life. I am not better than her or she better than me. To believe she is better than me is to believe that my talents are less important. My hope is that I can encourage everyone to live up to the talents God gave them, never to feel like they are less than anyone else. Hold your head up and look at everyone in the eye as an equal. recognize that everyone is capable of mistakes, sorrows, and struggles no matter the outward appearance. Your feelings of self worth directly affect your ability to accomplish your goals in life. and your feelings of self worth are directly affected by whether or not you compare your talents and abilities to everyone else around you. You are just as capable as the next person. even if you haven't accomplished what you hope to just yet, You are CAPABLE AND WORTHY OF IT! Just my soapbox for the day. thanks for letting me get my thoughts out of my head.

If it's not one thing, it's another...

My arm started hurting last week. ugh. really?? like my life can take me falling apart..
The toughest part about recovering and starting over is knowing what you used to be able to do and not pushing to that place when you shouldn't.
I think I hurt my elbow screwing around attempting some stunt I should not have tried. It's a pattern in my life. I can't accept that I am not 15 anymore.
SO, now I get to let my arm heal.

My knees? They feel great!
I have been taking it easy and letting them heal and retraining my stride.
I love running in my vibram 5 finger shoes!
Today I only did 2.16 miles and ran with Trisha and Wendy and others that showed up for Couch to 5K running.
I took about 30 minutes to do that run so it was a slow 15 min/mile pace. I need Thursdays as a recovery day from my intense fitness day on wednesday.
yesterday I taught FOUR Zumba classes. OUCH! I hurt so bad last night and am pretty sore from all that dancing. So just doing a slow pace with lots of walking was ok by me. I focused on my footfall and kept pretty good form.

So now... I heal my arm.

My knees... They are fine! YAY - and after a full day of high impact Zumba? yes, I am happy right now.

my first knee massage

I had Amber Smith come over and give me a knee massage yesterday.
HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
apparently I have a lot of scar tissue surrounding my knee I never knew about. Lots of past injuries that I ignored or something I guess.

But anyway the massage was heaven. at times it was so painful I thought I would cry (But I didn't)

SO... I am going to do it again. She really did an amazing job.

Here's Amber's plug:
She lives in LaVerkin and works at Massage Envy in Washington.
She can work you in her home or yours. She came to my living room - set up her table and went to work while my 3 year old watched Rolie Polie Olie movies.

Give her a call!
435-770-4678
Her name is AMBER

The damn knee....

I have always been really proud of the fact that I never have any serious problems with injuries keeping me from doing what I love - running, dancing, playing sports. I see people with knee or joint issues and I think; "so glad I don't have those problems."

Then somebody planned a goofy 13 mile race with a goofy theme and all my friends were doing it.

I haven't really been a distance runner yet. I have done 3-5 miles but nothing more. so of course I can't miss the 13 mile Hostess Half Marathon.

I ran it - had a blast until about mile 7 where my knee started having issues.
that's only halfway into the race!
so I ran the rest of it and walked about a mile and then sprinted across the finish - cuz I am smart and my knee can take it since I am invincible! right?

right....

My knee hurt so freaking bad! I told Steve Hooper that owns St. George Running center about my issues and he said:
"so you trained exactly how you tell your client NOT to train? (yup) "let me guess, your friends were running the race, you weren't ready for it, but decided not to let the party pass you up?"
yup - pretty much sums it up.
Then he thunked me on the forehead.

(by the way - ideal long distance running training - you work up bit by bit to the distance you plan on running. I USUALLY follow the plan of about .5 to 1 mile added per week to get joints and muscles trained up to the new activity you throw at them - yeah... I know... I am mad at me too!)

Ideally - you let an injury like that rest before you run again or push it in a Zumba class.
Ideally - you aren't running with your clients and teaching Zumba. So my injury never got a chance to heal. I decided to try and take it easy for a bit and was taking some supplements and shakes and stuff to help with healing.
I felt pretty good a couple of weeks ago and it looked hopeful.

2 weeks ago on a Saturday, I went Longboarding with my kids. at a park. I thought I was freakin awesome and went to show my son a little trick he could try. I ran over a pebble - lost my balance, landed on my knee pretty hard and twisted. But I jumped up since I was fell in front of a crowd of senior citizens telling me what a bad mother I was since I didn't have a helmet on. Had to try and look good in front of them and pretend it was nothing. oh yeah - I am REALLY cool now!



and that picture would be my back side while on the longboard.

The next day, I couldn't move my knee. for the next week I could hardly move my knee.
It was Spring Break and one of my ZUMBA trainers quit so I had to cover her class and 2 other instructors were on vacation so I covered their classes too - SO...
IDEALLY - you let an injured knee rest. Ideally you aren't teaching everyone else's classes when you get another injury on the same freakin knee.

I have been trying to take it easy for the past 2 weeks. It is TOUGH to hold back.

Monday I went for a SHORT run. just .3 miles at a time for 3 rounds. felt fine. Last night I taught a Zumba class ALMOST full out - held back a little (for me) - my knee felt fine.
This morning did another .9 miles identical to Monday. I felt a little knee ache coming on as I rounded the final few yards. Bugger....
Grrrrr..........

So...
Today I taught Gold Zumba which allows me to relax my knee quite a bit. Tonight it's Pilates. We will see how we do with any knee stuff. Sometimes I feel it worse when I stretch a straight leg or go down onto my knee.

Tonight is Zumba - I am not teaching but I need to be there. I think I will ride the stationary bike while they do Zumba.

hmmmm....
Must Heal. I have a race coming up in September. Can't miss the Red Rock Relay! Now that is a FUN party!

at age 20 I decided I wanted to run a marathon.

This is about joining me on a journey. I am trying to find my way back into a more fit happy and healthy person

1989 - 1992 "ish" my high school years - A long time ago I was really active and fit - I played basketball, ran in track, cheered and danced. in 9th grade I was told by my track coach that I had amazing potential. (This was the day I quit cross country track since my grades were bad). I was a Freshman.
I quit running in track. But I continued with church sports and cheering and dancing all the time. I would occasionally run with my friends or my dog (when we had one that could run - by the way - Basset Hounds are lousy running dogs - I'm just sayin...) When we lived in Wyoming I would run up and down the hills surrounding our ranch or run barefoot down the 2 mile dirt road and back home again. It always felt good. I was "born to run".

(1994) age 20 - I decided I wanted to run a marathon.
I started training and about about 4 months from the race date I found out I was 5 months pregnant so I quit training for a marathon.


I used to dance and exercise all day long in college and work.

1992-1996 (pre-marriage) - My days used to be:
4am - get up and work loading trucks
8am - go to school and dance and lift weights and study nutrition and do Yoga and workout in another exercise class, study anatomy or other fitness related class
5pm - I would go to my second job at the gym and do sales or my other part time job at GNC (General Nutrition Center).


1998-2001 I was married - living in California for quite some time - Then I had more kids - life happened, running just wasn't a part of my world.
I had no real reason to run. no dogs, and strollers bugged me.
But always at the back of my head was the memory of the goal I had once set that seemed so far away.

The only thing I did at this point was teach a weekly fitness class for people who had difficulty with exercise and I played church ball once a week - certainly not the same level of fitness I was used to.

2002-2005 I was now living in Utah - I would go running with my friend Robin at 5:30am and we talked about one day doing a marathon together. But when the running got longer and more intense she and I joked that we really only wanted to LOOK like we could run a marathon. But really my heart was aching.
I was a different person now - A busy busy mom with lots of kids and no time for me. So I decided to let it go.


THEN - I moved to a home that was directly in front of the St. George Marathon finish line. Literally. The finish line pointed to the driveway of my town home.

The first Saturday of October I would go out and watch runners cross that line all day long. Or at least until the last guy across finally finished - crying - puking - collapsing... I loved it!

Everyone that crossed that finish line had a story. Some held hands with sisters or friends, some limped across, others collapsed in tears. And some were BIG people that had amazing journeys that saved their lives. There were those who came from other countries and marked off their 100th marathon. There was the 75 year old man, the guy in the wheel chair... all of them were amazing to me. I wanted to be one of the amazing ones that set out to do something and finished.

But I didn't do it.
Instead, I quit taking care of my health - slipped into depression and decided that because I was busy I no longer had the time for me.


In 2008 - we had been living in Laverkin now for a couple of years and had had another baby - 6 MONTHS after the baby was born I went on a walk with my family around my block and I had to sit on the curb and catch my breathe just a half mile from my home.

I went on a hike with my dogs and couldn't make it back to my car without assistance.

My health was bad, my nutrition was bad I no longer exercised at all!
my weight actually skyrocketed for the first time ever. I had never ever been overweight in my entire life (in fact I had had the OPPOSITE problem of near anorexia at one point - another story for another day - it was bad) and now I was 40-50 pounds overweight!
Plus I would find myself crying in my closet - sometimes for no reason.


I was a stranger to me. I was depressed, angry, and hated that I couldn't enjoy playing with my kids anymore.

That is the beginning of my REAL fitness journey.

I couldn't do much any more. I couldn't last through any of my workout videos (I have an extensive library of videos I used to study). I would do a couple of minutes at a time and then take a break. Or I would turn on some music and dance with my kids in my living room. I began walking my dogs every morning at Sunrise on Laverkin Overlook - these little things were the start of my life being saved!

Walks turned into run/jog/walk. 2 minutes of videos turned into 30 minutes eventually. Dance time with the kids turned into me trying to learn breakdancing (ever try that crap - it hurts!) I loved getting sweaty with my kids with the music on.

I went from about 180 (ish) I didn't weigh myself at my peak - this is a guess - to about 150 ish...
Or a size 14-15 to a size 10-12.

I really felt like I needed to return to full health - not just for me but for my family. I felt this urgency to work and to bring in income. I felt VERY Strongly that I needed to go work back in the fitness industry after being out of it for so long.
SO - I got a job at a fitness facility and learned everything I could - worked sales, was in charge of marketing and eventually was a staff trainer.
About this time I began thinking about starting my own thing and looked into Bootcamps.


2009 - I left the fitness facility I was working for and hired 2 bootcamp trainers to whip me into shape while we built a business.

BUT more importantly - I ran the first 5K race I had ran since before kids.
then another - then I invited friends to run with me and my clients started running 5K that were once like I was - out of breath after 1/4 mile. we were running together.

September 2010 - I did the Red Rock Relay - a 186 mile race divided between 12 team members that trade off every 3-7 miles depending on the leg of their race. It was tough - But I LOVED it. I felt like I had come so far from where I was just a year or 2 before!

December 2010 - I decided to jump into a silly race called the Hostess Half marathon. 13 miles of eating hostess crap at every aid station. I was excited about something goofy to go do.
I went from running 3 miles to 7 miles to running the 1/2 marathon in 3 weeks.
my knees did not like me about mile 7 or 8ish during the race - So I did about a mile of walking and was so angry at my damn knees. but I did sprint in to the finish! you gotta at least be able to finish strong! right?

So now...
March 29, 2011
here is where I am in my journey...
I have a 1/2 marathon under my belt - my knees are hating me a little still from doing that and teaching Zumba instead of really recovering and then falling down while trying to skateboard.... yeah - I am SO cool!
my size is 8 my weight is around 140 with muscle on me from strength training. I am working on pull-ups and push-ups and other fun strength training in addition to doing Zumba, Pilates, bootcamp and running my own fitness studio.

I still want to train for a marathon.
I want to do it by my 40th birthday at least. My 40th birthday is on October 2nd 2013. That weekend will be the st. George Marathon and I want that to be my party!
I may do a marathon sooner - If I train smart and treat my knees right. I do NOT want to be one of those runner with messed up joints from pushing too hard to fast. I want to be able to dance and play into age 90.

So... I will still do a marathon - I may even do more than one.
Right now I am going to train for 5 and 10K's.
Tomorrow I will run with my 9 year old daughter and get her started on her journey with me.
I can't wait to get training again. My life is back and I am happier than I have been in ages - now that I am taking care of ME, I feel like a better mom too!